


Auf Wiedersehen Sweetheart

by gamorasquill



Category: The Walking Dead
Genre: A little angst, AND NOBODY DIES BECAUSE WHAT THE FUCK NO, Feelings, M/M, Past Relationships, Profanity, Reunited and It Feels So Good, Smut, and a lot of it, and they meet up again after Rick kills all those saviors, basically an AU where Negan and Rick dated before the apocalypse, cause Negan can't say one sentence without cussing, teenage love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-28
Updated: 2017-09-11
Packaged: 2018-10-12 01:55:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10479456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gamorasquill/pseuds/gamorasquill
Summary: Negan and Rick were together once upon a time but were forced to separate when Rick's family moves to Georgia. Years go by and the world ends...but fate brings them together again.





	1. Chapter 1

"We're moving."

Two simple words. Two simple words that managed to destroyed Negan's entire world in just a few seconds. He had brought Rick, his boyfriend of two years, out into the woods for a little romantic picnic. Rick had been acting weird lately, strangely depressed and mopey. Negan figured it was because he was being a neglectful asshole boyfriend to him but apparently fucking not.

No it was something far fucking worse...

They had known each other practically their whole lives. Oddly enough they hadn't been able to stand each other when they were younger. Rick annoyed the shit out of Negan and vice versa but somewhere along the line that all changed. They went from enemies to friends and friends to lovers. A long but strangely beautiful process from Negan's point of view.

The two years he had dated Rick were the best of his life. They completed each other. Almost balanced each other out in a strange sense. Rick was his rock. His everything. He kept him sane and out of trouble. Most importantly he made him happy. And now he was going to lose him...

"Moving?" He repeated, eyes widening in both shock and horror. "Moving...to where?"

A moment of silence passed between them and suddenly a spark of optimism went off in Negan's chest. Maybe...maybe he wasn't moving that far away! Maybe Rick's family was just taking him to the next city over. A distance he could easily drive and would eagerly drive if it meant he could see Rick. What was a few measly miles?

"Georgia." The smaller answered softly.

Well fuck. There goes his optimism. Gone with the goddamn fucking wind. He couldn't drive fourteen fucking hours just to see Rick. As much he'd love to he just couldn't. There was no way it would work out.

Rick sobbed and it was then that Negan realized he was crying. With a curse he rose to his feet and enveloped the smaller teen in his arms. That didn't seem to offer any comfort because as soon as his hands were on him Rick was practically hysterical. His hands gripped his leather jacket and he openly wept into his shoulder, his body trembling almost violently.

"Goddamn it Rick, calm the fuck down. It's not the end of the world." He murmured, running his fingers through the other's curly dark hair.

Not exactly the best choice of words for a situation as delicate as this one.

Negan didn't even flinch when he was roughly shoved away. Watery blue eyes fixed a harsh and even hurt glare on him and Rick took a step away from him like he had been physically hurt.

"How can you even say that?!" He demanded furiously, more tears leaking from his wide eyes. "I'm going to be leaving my hometown and _**YOU**_ forever! I'm never coming back! We may never see each other again and you have the balls to tell me to--"

"Dammit Rick, there's nothing we can do to change this! Don't think I'm not upset about this because, fuck I am, I truly am but there's nothing we can do! We can't just tell your parents to leave but let you stay or tell them not to move at all!"

He sighed and pulled the shorter teen back into his arms, holding him close and kissing his forehead. He knew his words weren't helping the situation at all but he couldn't break down in front of Rick...not right now at least. A sorrowful smile tugged at his lips as he held the other close.

"And how the fuck do you know we'll never see each other again?" He teased. "Have some goddamn optimism for fuck's sake."

.....................

Rick let out a shaky sigh as he was forced to kneel down, his eyes filled to the brim with un shed tears. Now he knelt waiting in terror for the big man to show up. The true leader of the Saviors, a group he had been antagonizing for weeks because he had been dangerously arrogant. Now he was going to pay a price for that foolishness. A price he didn't know if he was willing to pay or not.

As he waited he couldn't help but wonder why that memory in particular was plaguing his thoughts. He had much bigger problems to concern himself with at the moment.

His eyes trailed over to his group, the people he was so very proud to call his family. They surrounded him but offered no comfort. They were in deep shit this time and they all knew it. No amount of reassuring glances would change that or make him feel any better. He got them here...he was their leader and he led them right into a trap. He'd never forgive himself for that, especially not if one of them or god forbid all of them were killed tonight.

Simon, the asshole that had been stalking them all day, smiled down at them; obviously satisfied with the lineup. With a nod he turned to the RV. "Let's meet the man!" He announced before walking up to the door and knocking three times.

Rick made certain to keep his eyes downcast, his body shaking almost uncontrollably. He had never felt so powerless...and afraid. What was going to happen? Who was this leader of theirs? What would he do to them? Would he kill them? Lock them up? Torture them?

As his mind raced, the door to the RV was pushed open and the crunch of gravel echoed in his ears as a man stepped out. Still, Rick just couldn't bring himself to look up. He was nearly paralyzed with fear, the only thing he seemed able to do was breathe and shake.

"We pissin our pants yet?"

Blue eyes shot up at the sound of that voice. It was...familiar. _Too_ familiar. He had heard it before, he was sure of it.

Rick shakily looked up and nearly choked. Crystal blue eyes widened as he gazed at a man he never imagined he would ever see again. A man he had left behind years ago when he was still just a dumb teen in high school. A man he had loved more than anything else in the world. The very first person to ever own his heart, body and soul.

He was aged but that was fair considering it had been about thirty years since they had last seen each other. Rick certainly didn't look like the soft little peach he had been during his teenage years. He still looked rugged and tough but even moreso now that he had matured in terms of looks. Hell, he even had on his infamous leather coat. Rick honestly couldn't believe that he still owned that dusty old thing. The barbed wire baseball bat was new though...

 _"N..Negan?!"_ He nearly shouted out before he could stop himself.

Time itself seemed to freeze as all eyes were cast on him and he immediately regret opening his big mouth. He could feel all the looks of surprise and confusion from both the Saviors and his own group burning into him. Terror gripped him as he considered the possibility of him being wrong. What if he truly was mistaken and the universe was just playing tricks on his mind?! What if this man wasn't his Negan, the man he had lived and lost so many years ago...

He heard the ground crunch as the man approached him. Rick broke eye contact and stared at the gravel below him. The rest of the world was eerily silent as the intimidating man slowly approached him. Soon his boots were right in front of him but Rick didn't dare to look up.

So the man knelt down instead.

A gloved hand came up and gently gripped his chin. Rick swallowed a lump in his throat as his head was tilted upwards. Immediately his crystal blue eyes met a dark hazel brown. Time reversed itself for a moment when their eyes met. Rick was no longer on his knees facing what could very well be death at the hands of this enormous and cruel group known as the Saviors. No, now he was a teenager once again: laughing as he listened to his boyfriend tell dumb and vulgar jokes, moaning as they passionately made love in the backseat of his car, and smiling as their lips met in a soft kiss.

"Well, I'll be."

The sound of that deep voice brought Rick spiraling back into reality and he found himself staring into those hypnotic hazel eyes once again. The gloved hand moved from his chin to his cheek, fingers running over his salt and pepper beard. A smile tugged at the man's lips and he chuckled.

"If it isn't Rick motherfucking Grimes."

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

"Rick, if you don't stop crying I _swear to fucking **Christ**_ \--"

"Shut up!" The other angrily snapped, looking up at him with teary eyes. "We only have a few weeks left together and I--"

"Thanks for proving my goddamn fucking point!" Negan snickered, thumbing away a few tears that escaped the crystal blue orbs he loved so much. "How the fuck are we supposed to enjoy what little time we have left together if you won't stop crying for five fucking seconds!?"

A saddened smile tugged at Rick's lips and he even let out a genuine laugh. Just the sound of it made Negan's heart flutter in his chest. He hadn't heard that sweet sound in fucking days and it was like music to his ears.

"Holy shit ladies and gentlemen we have a smile!" He exclaimed happily, tilting the other's head up and pecking him in the lips. "It's about damn fucking time!"

"Shut up." Rick repeated only this time with a more playful tone in his voice. He dragged himself up and draped himself over Negan like a blanket. A soft sigh left him as he felt his boyfriend's fingers tangling themselves into his curly hair.

"I'm going to miss you so much." He murmured, burying his face into the other's neck.

Now it was Negan's turn to say shut up. He didn't want to hear any of that sentimental shit. Not now. Not fucking ever and lately saying goodbye was all Rick ever wanted to do. "Don't you even fucking start with that sappy bullshit. I'm tired of hearing all your fucking goodbyes. We still have a few weeks."

"I know but--"

"But fucking nothing, shut that shit up Rick. I mean it." He looked down at his boyfriend, his vision beginning to blur with tears. "I'm not...god fucking dammit Rick, I'm not fucking ready to say goodbye to you. Not...not yet."

Surprise and guilt filled Rick's sky blue gaze and he reached up to gently cup the other's face. "I'm sorry." He whispered, leaning closer to apologetically press a trail of kisses to Negan's chin and jaw.

Negan smiled and blinked back his tears, scoffing internally at himself when he sniffled. "Can you just...lay off the fucking goodbyes? Save them for our real last days together... you know when they'll really fucking count." He inched closer and planted his lips against Rick's forehead. "Right now all I want to do is spend time with you. Enjoy the time we do have left."

Rick nodded, raising his arms and wrapping them around Negan's neck with a shit eating grin big enough to rival Negan's. "Sounds like a fucking plan to me."

The larger teen quickly returned the grin, always pleased to hear his boyfriend cuss like a sailor. With a playful growl he easily reversed their positions, tugging Rick's legs around his waist. "Atta boy!"

....................

Negan could not believe his fucking eyes. He had come out of the enemy group's RV, ready to punish the no good murderers for killing his men and challenging him, but right as he was getting started he heard his name being called. Not only that but the voice that shouted was eerily familiar. It was a voice from another life...a very old and almost forgotten life.

He searched for the owner of the voice and his heart skipped several beats in his chest. It belonged to a man. A man that looked like he had just been dragged through hell and back. His was shaking like he had a fucking essential tremor or some shit and he looked like he was about to piss his fucking pants. He had his head downcast, which Negan couldn't blame him for. He was fucking scared as he very well should be.

Smirking, Negan walked over to the man, his prized Lucille in hand. He stopped right in front of the other; not even phased when he still wouldn't look up. Negan felt a tingle of some unknown emotion in his chest and knelt down. With a curious smile, he reached out and gripped his chin; tilting his head up to get a good look at his face.

An icy sensation raced through his veins as the man's face was revealed to him. He knew that face. It was much more rugged and worn down than he remembered but considering the last time he saw that face was about thirty years ago that was pretty understandable.

"Well, I'll be." He replied, his voice barely above a whisper. "If it isn't a Rick motherfucking Grimes."

Their eyes met and the whole world fell away around them. It felt like even time froze as the two of them stared into each other's eyes. Negan softly sucked in a breath. His eyes...even time couldn't alter those stunning icy blue orbs.

"Still so goddamn fucking _beautiful."_ He murmured so only Rick would hear, shaking his head with a smile.

Rick raised a brow but the corners of his mouth twitched upward, hinting at a smile. A warm sensation spread through his body, replacing the icy one that had been there before. Oh, if there was one thing he missed it was that beautiful fucking smile. If Rick smiled at him right now, Negan was almost certain that he would lose all of his shit.

However; as much as he wanted to bask in the glow of Rick and all of his sexy ass Rickiness...his men were watching. No doubt they were already confused about why their leader, who never ever shut the fuck off, was now totally silent. He had to change the fucking weird atmosphere before all his men lost their goddamn minds and started interrogating him.

"Uh...Negan? Sir?" Simon called, proving Negan's point right off the damn bat.

Without warning, Negan snatched Rick up by the collar of his shirt, hauling him to his feet so quickly he nearly lost his balance. He tore his gaze from the other man, knowing if he looked at him again he'd be trapped in that blue paradise. Turning away from all the eyes on them, he hauled Rick towards the RV, pulled the door open and shoved the other inside.

He turned to his men with a smile, looking directly at Simon. "Rick and I are gonna have a word. Keep his group company for me would ya Simon?"

A brow raised on the man's face but he nodded nonetheless. "You got it Sir."

"Oh and Simon?"

"Yes sir?"

Negan's eyes grew dark for a moment and his smile melted back into a frown. "No fucking funny business. No one here dies unless _**I**_ give the fucking word. Understand?"

Simon nodded but Negan could see the glimmer of disappointment hidden in his dark eyes. "Of course."

Sated with the response, Negan stepped into the RV and slammed the door shut. He turned to see Rick staring at him with wide and confused eyes, gripping the collar of his jacket. A moment of silence passed between them before the leather clad savior decided to act. He reached Rick in two strides and pulled him into a fierce kiss, smiling into it when the other didn't make any move to fight him off.

He pulled away to let his eyes roam over Rick's face, reaching up and prodding at his impressive facial hair. "Un-fucking-believable. You managed to grow a better beard than me." He marveled.

"Thirty years later and you're still swearing like a sailor." Rick replied with a shake of the head.

"Hey, old shitty ass habits fucking die hard alright?"

"And somehow... _incredibly_ your swearing somehow managed to get much worse."

"Save your teasing Grimes. We need to talk..." Negan replied, his tone growing a bit more dark and serious. "As pleased as I am to see your gorgeous fucking face again we can't just ignore the bind we're both in right now."

Rick swallowed but nodded. "So...what you going to do with us?"

"Well, usually how this goes is I kill one sorry shit in the group right off the bat, just to make an example. But I doubt you're going to be very happy with me if I go out there and beat one of your friends to death with Lucille here."

All traces of happiness in Rick's eyes were gone in seconds and he nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I would be less than pleased. I'd be pretty damn livid to be exact."

Negan crossed his arms and leaned against the door, eyes looking over Rick like he was a piece of meat. "Well...then we have a bit of a problem. You see, I was pretty fucking pissed at your group tonight. Mostly because you killed a shit ton of my men. I think death count was at about fucking fifty according to Arat. You and your people just charged all around my territory straight up murdering people like you were on some fucking crusade! Not to mention some of the men you killed were fucking asleep when you killed them. Never saw it coming. Couldn't even raise a hand to fucking defend themselves!"

His voice was louder and angrier than he wanted it to be and he quickly regret it. Rick shrunk away from him, his eyes filled with surprise and a little bit of fear.

Negan sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Look, I'm sorry. It's just that--"

"We did those things because we made a deal with another community. If we took you out then they would supply us with the food and supplies that we desperately needed. I thought...it would be good for my people and after hearing about the monstrous things your people did, killing you sounded like--"

"Like the right fucking thing to do?" Negan spat out bitterly.

Rick stepped forward, eyes burning with an emotion the other man couldn't quite place. "I'm sorry we killed your men...but we were just doing what we needed to survive. And if half the things we were told about you and your group are true...then you had it coming."

Negan let out a bitter chuckle, shaking his head as he looked back to Rick. "Ending an apology with an insult. Some things really never fucking change."

"I--"

"It's fine. I'm not gonna lie and say that my men and I are fucking saints. We already know that's probably the furthest fucking thing from the truth but still...you cost me men Rick."

"Your people killed some of mine too you know." The other snapped back defensively. "Not to mention you were probably going to kill more of us tonight."

Negan shrugged. "An eye for an eye. It was going to be an avenging of sorts."

Rick scoffed, rolling his eyes. "Of course."

"Listen...why don't we just forget this fucking topic?" Negan neatly snapped, glaring at the ground. He didn't want to fight over this...now wasn't the time for that. "Agree to disagree. Your people killed some of my people and mine killed some of yours. We're both fucking asswipes. Let's just leave it at that."

Rick's hands raised in surrender. "Fine by me."

"Good." Negan stated with a nod. He let a moment pass between them before he smirked. "That being said...your people did fucking start it."

Blue eyes rolled and Rick playfully punched him in the shoulder. "You can never just let it go can you? Always have to have the last word."

Negan grinned, taking the other's hand and pulling him close. "Well...you know me. World's biggest fucking gentleman right here."

The two enjoyed a comfortable silence together for a moment, taking a moment to enjoy the familiarity of the other. Negan wrapped his arms around the other's waist and let his head rest on top of Rick's. He felt the other man's hands on his back, roaming and exploring blindly.

"So what are we going to do?" Rick breathed out, laying his head on Negan's shoulder. "I assume your men aren't going to want you to just let us go. They'll want something from us and they will expect you to take something from us."

Negan fell quiet as he thought over the other man's words. He was absolutely right. His people wouldn't just accept the fact that he was letting a group that challenged him and killed their comrades go. He had to do something...there had to be some sort of punishment.

The leather clad man tugged Rick back, looking him over for what was probably the hundredth time that night. He still couldn't believe it was _actually_ him. A smile tugged at his lips but it faded just as soon as it appeared. He had a thought on what they could do to placate both groups but it wouldn't bode very well for Rick. And he didn't like that but it was the only thing Negan could think of that didn't involve killing one of his people.

He sighed, leaning forward and gently pressing their foreheads together. "Well, I have an idea on what to do...but believe me when I say you are _**not**_ going to fucking like it."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So much positive feedback on the first chapter! I'm really glad you guys like the idea of this story!!!! Hopefully I won't screw it up! 
> 
> Thanks for reading guys!!!! :D


	3. Chapter 3

"For fuck's sake Rick, it was a joke!"

Rick ignored the voice calling after him, eagerly making his way towards the front door. His eyes were watering rapidly by the second and all he wanted to do was leave.

_Why? **Why** did I have to date such an asshole?_

As he reached for the door, a hand closed around his wrist. A harsh sky blue glare was thrown over his shoulder and he was met with Negan's rather blank face. Gently, the larger teen took his other hand, stopping him from reaching the door.

"It. Was. A. Joke." He reiterated, hazel eyes never leaving Rick's.

"Well it wasn't fucking funny!" Rick snapped bitterly, turning away from him. "Let me go! I'm going home."

"Then at least let me drive you there."

"No!"

Negan let out a sigh that was filled with nothing but irritation. "Rick, you know damn well I'm not letting you walk home. It's pouring outside not to it's the middle of the fucking night. Just calm the hell down for a second."

Furious, Rick tried to snatch his arms away; growling when he found that he couldn't. He tried again with more ferocity and determination but nothing worked. Every time he made a move the grip on him simply tightened, making it damn near impossible for him to escape. It shouldn't have come as a surprise, Negan had always been stronger than him but it sure as hell didn't help him calm down either.

"Let go!" He snapped, reaching up to throw a blow at Negan only for him to dodge it.

"Rick."

"Let me--"

His order was cut off as the larger teen leaned down and captured his lips in a kiss. He jumped in surprise, his eyes widened and a soft gasp escaping his lips. The unexpected kiss wouldn't deter him however. He writhed and squirmed in a futile attempt at escape. Two hands came up to cup his face and despite his inner want to roughly shove Negan away and storm out of the house; Rick felt himself melting into his arms instead. As their kiss deepened and their tongues intertwined his arms came up to rest around Negan's neck and he let out a content sigh.

 _ **Goddammit.**_ He cursed internally at himself, furious at how easily he submit to his boyfriend. He couldn't stand how just one kiss could render him weak in the knees...but that's what love does to people.

They pulled apart to catch their breath and Rick slumped against the larger teen, burying his face in his boyfriend's shoulder. He brought his hand up and punched him in the shoulder, not hard enough to hurt but not light enough to be considered playful either. With a small scoff he released his boyfriend and turned away from him, his cheeks burning red and his hands finding their way to his hips.

"I...I fucking hate you."

Negan cracked a smile, tilting the other's head up to press a kiss to his forehead. "Yeah fucking right. I love you too baby."

"You're such a fucking asshole."

With a sigh, the larger teen gripped the other's face in his hands once again. "You do know that I would never, _**EVER**_ , do anything to hurt you right? Physically or emotionally. Please tell me you fucking know that Rick."

The smaller scoffed and looked down at the ground. "You didn't have any problems teasing the shit out of me when we were kids."

"That was different. I didn't fucking like you back then...but this is now and now, I'd rather die than do anything to hurt you."

Blue eyes shot up, full of surprise. "I.. _really?"_

Negan frowned like he was just asked to explain something he'd already explained a thousand times before. His hazel eyes rolled and he crossed in arms in what looked to be irritation. "Of fucking course. I love you dumbass."

A dumb smile burst onto Rick's face and he tackled the other with a hug. "I love you too asshole."

........................

"Well, I have an idea on what to...but believe me when I say you are **not** going to fucking like it."

Rick raised a brow at Negan's words, a cold sweat breaking out on his skin. Just what the hell did the other man have in mind!? He was obviously no stranger to grotesque violence and he knew all too well that Negan was quite creative when he wanted to be. So what was his mind cooking up?

Slightly fearful, he took a step away with a wary look in his eyes. "What do you mean?"

A hurt look crossed the larger man's features and he set his prized baseball bat on the table. He took a step towards Rick with his hands raised. "Hey, I'm not gonna fucking hurt you...at least not a lot. I gotta give my people something Rick. This isn't just about my anger. Your people killed brothers, sisters, lovers, fathers and friends. My people will want retribution for that."

Though he looked doubtful, Rick nodded in understanding. He looked up and searched those familiar hazel eyes for even an idea of what he was going to do. To his surprise...they were completely blank; lacking any emotion of any kind. That did not sit well with him, especially in the situation he was in now. Sure this was Negan, his Negan, a man he thought long gone  but this was different. Everyone changed when the apocalypse started, even him, hell _especially_ him. He tore a man's throat out with his _teeth_ and felt **nothing** the next day. Who knew what it had done to Negan...

The leather clad man approached him slowly, wrapping an arm around his waist and pressing a kiss to his forehead. Rick leaned into the kiss with a smile; the other man's beard tickling his skin slightly. He looked up at him and found his hazel eyes already consumed with regret.

"I swear to fucking god Rick...I wouldn't do this to you if I had any other fucking choice." He mumbled, gently thumbing the man's cheek. "I can still just fuck up one of your friends out there--"

" **No.** " The ex sheriff barked, glaring up at him.

No one was touching his family. They were terrified enough out there, probably losing their minds wondering what the hell Negan was doing to him. He could already see the panic in Michonne's eyes, feel the pain radiating through Daryl and sense the fear racing through Carl's veins. Sasha had been shaking in a way he'd never seen before right next to him and it pained him to not be able to reach out and offer her any comfort. Eugene had looked in dire need of a hug and reassurance, luxuries that he couldn't afford to give. Abraham and Aaron stood...well knelt tall, unafraid, brave and bold. Ready to take on anything that came their way, something he admired deeply. He would be the first to admit that he had been terrified, too terrified to even speak. Rosita was like a statue but he could see the fear in her face. Glenn's stayed trained on his ill wife and Maggie, _oh **god** Maggie_ , poor thing was in too much pain to even express any fear. He needed to get her to a doctor...and soon. He would never forgive himself if the precious miracle inside of her was lost tonight. He wouldn't let anything happen to that child, or anyone else out there. He would die before he let a single person out in that line up bear the brunt of his bad decisions. He gave them the orders to kill Negan's men. He would suffer the consequences for it.

"Me. It has to be me."

Negan nodded but the pain was clearly expressed on his face. Silently, he unsheathed the blade on his hip. He refused to meet Rick's gaze as he held the blade up and gripped his bicep. With a sigh, the man mumbled a sorrowful apology before slicing a long horizontal line across his skin.

Rick hissed in pain, teeth sinking into his bottom lip hard enough to draw blood. Red oozed from his fresh wound, staining his coat and coating his skin in red. He watched as Negan placed the knife down and removed his gloves, cracking his knuckles before gripping the wound with his bare hand. Rick cried out at that and watched in confusion as the man pulled his now bloody hand away and smeared the crimson onto his face.

"The hell are you--"

Negan raised a finger, cutting him off. "It's only going to get worse..."

"I can take it." Rick insisted, knowing this had to be agonizing for his long lost love. They had just been reunited and instead of some sappy reunion he was being forced to hurt him.

"Goddammit Rick...are you sure that you can--"

"Whatever you're going to do, just do it. I've been through hell already Negan. I can take whatever you're going to throw at me so just get it over with."

The man sighed but nodded. He pulled him closer and pressed their foreheads together, stealing a quick and chaste kiss. "Fine...but I am going to fuck the holy fucking fuckity fuck out of you later. Just to make up for this."

Blue eyes rolled and Rick managed a small chuckle. "Can't wait. Now come on, let's just get this over with."

Negan hesitated once again but after a moment of drawn out silence, he finally lashed out with his fist. It roughly connected with the sheriff's jaw and sent him crashing to the ground.

Pain screamed through Rick's jaw and he turned to spit out some blood. Thankfully, the blow wasn't hard enough to knock out any of his teeth. He was barely give any time to recover as Negan hauled him up only to strike him again. The second blow was much harder than the last and made his head spin. As he fell to the ground, he felt Negan's boot roughly connect with his gut. He curled up and nearly wretched, hacking up more blood violently instead.

He barely comprehended the hands turning him over and the crumbling weight settling on his chest. Another blow hit him in the face and then his chest. They came one after the other, a fierce storm of beatings that he knew were completely destroying Negan. But it was alright because he already forgave him for all of this.

Something wet hit his cheek and he made a soft sound of surprise. When did he start crying? He had to stop and quickly, before Negan saw the tears. The last thing he wanted was to make the man feel even more guilty than he already did. None of this was on him. Rick agreed to this, mostly because if it wasn't him it was someone else in his group but he still agreed nonetheless. And they were doing it so the others in his group wouldn't be suspicious about their boss suddenly going soft. He knew it and Negan knew it but it probably offered little to no solace.

Another dribble landed on his skin and he weakly pulled his eyes open. To his surprise and horror, the tears didn't belong to him. He wasn't crying... _Negan_ was. An extremely rare sight. Even when they were teenagers. He'd only ever seen the other man cry once and that was their final day together before he moved to Georgia. Negan didn't cry unless he was truly and utterly heartbroken and even then he still didn't cry. He made inappropriate jokes like he always did and shrugged it off. Now, sorrow and remorse filled his hazel eyes and tears poured from them like waterfalls, free falling right onto Rick's face and his clothes.

Regret immediately spread through Rick like a virus. This had been a bad idea. He should have never let Negan go through with this. He knew how much it would hurt him, to be reunited with him and still be forced to beat the shit out of him. It had to have been excruciating for him.

He heard Negan's soft whispers of remorse and weakly, Rick reached up towards the other man. His fingers brushed over his face before his hand fell limp at his side. He tried to mumble an apology of his own but a broken croak was the only sound that left him. He wanted to tell Negan he was sorry but the world had different plans for him. He sucked in one last painful breath before his body gave into the throbbing pain in his bones and the world vanished behind a vast black curtain.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, I suck...so much angst. My poor sweet babies :( 
> 
> Hope you guys enjoyed! Don't worry it won't always be this angsty! Things shall get better ;3


	4. Chapter 4

Negan paced the floor of the hospital's waiting room, his entire being just a complete and utter mess. He had gotten what was perhaps the worst news of his life an hour ago. Rick had been in a car accident while on his way home from school.

It was his fault. He knew it was. If he had just taken five minutes out of his stupid fucking day to  take Rick home himself none of this would have happened. Rick wouldn't have let some random asshole given him a ride and said asshole wouldn't have gotten him into a _**GODDAMN CAR WRECK.**_

 _You selfish fucking bastard!_ He snarled internally at himself. _This is all your fucking fault you fucking idiot!_

His angry thoughts were cut short as a nurse approached him. She was short and pretty with dark skin and light hazel eyes. Freckles danced across her cheeks and a name tag pinned to her shirt informed him that her name was Hazel. It certainly suited her well. Hazel smiled up at him, her elated expression giving him a sudden burst of optimism.

"Are you here for a Mr. Richard Grimes?"

"Uh y..yeah! How the fuck is he!?"

He could tell his profanity threw her off for a moment but she immediately caught herself and was soon all smiles once again. "Well, I'm sure you'll be happy to know that he pulled through very nicely. He's got a nasty set of bruised ribs and a few cuts here and there but he's going to be just fine."

Relief flooded Negan's system and he managed a shaky smile. Slowly but surely his escalated breathing returned to normal. His body trembled and a hand came up to clutch his chest which was ready to burst with happiness.

"Can...can I see him?"

Hazel nodded. "Of course but not for long. He needs his rest."

Negan gave her a nod in understanding before bolting towards Rick's room. He stepped in to a see his boyfriend lying in bed. He was dressed in one of their ugly ass robes and had all those fancy tubes hooked up to him. His hair was a wild mess of curls and a few bruises danced across his face and arms. Despite him looking like he'd just walked through hell, he seemed to be sleeping soundly.

As quietly as he could manage, Negan crept into the room and made his way to the injured teen's side. He smiled in relief as he watched Rick's chest fall up and down steadily. As happy as he felt however it didn't last. There was still the crumbling knowledge that he could have prevented all of this from happening.

With a sigh, he gripped his boyfriend's limp hand and leaned down to kiss his forehead. "God Rick...I'm so sorry. I know this is all my fucking fault. I should have...I should have just taken you home my damn self."

He grit his teeth as he felt his eyes watering, summoning all his strength to just blink them back. The last thing his injured boyfriend needed to wake up to was him crying over him. Rick was the biggest worry wart of them all and like Hazel said he needed his rest.

"Not...your fault."

Negan nearly jumped at the sound of Rick's broken voice, pulling away to look at him. His eyes were just barely open and staring up at him. He looked tired and weak but that was more than understandable considering his current situation. His hand managed to grip his own and Negan smiled and squeezed him back lightly in return.

"Rick thank fuck! Are you okay? How do you feel?!"

"Like I just got hit by a truck." The other managed with a teasing smile.

Dark Hazel eyes lowered and for once Negan found himself not laughing at a joke. Instead he frowned and leaned down to kiss Rick's fingertips. "Hahaha. Not fucking funny."

"Lighten up will you, I'm fine aren't I?"

"Yeah, you've just got some fucking bruised ass ribs."

Sky blue eyes rolled and Rick's smile seemed to grow. He met Negan's gaze and wagged his finger, signaling for him to come closer. Negan obliged him of course and all his thoughts left him as the other caught his lips in a kiss. It was chaste and ended quickly but it managed to calm every single one of his nerves. The kiss was meant as reassurance. _You didn't lose me. I'm right here. I'm alive. I'm fine._

Negan smiled and planted another kiss to his forehead with a sigh. He reached up and ran his fingers through the other's curly hair. "I hope you know that no one other than me or your parents is fucking allowed to drive you home ever again."

Rick let out a soft chuckle and Negan's heart soared in his chest. "I can live with that."

"Fucking good."

........................

Negan looked down at Rick, who had passed out only moments before. He felt ashamed and disgusted with himself but it had to be done. It had to. His people wouldn't accept that no punishment would be dealt. Not after all that Rick's group had taken from them.

Taking a deep breath, the leather clad savior reached up and wiped at his face. He was surprised to see that he had actually started crying. It had been ages since he shed any tears, he'd actually begun to think he was incapable of it. He hadn't cried since he was holding the hand of his wife in the last days of her life.

With a deep breath, he quickly composed himself before putting on his trademark grin. Time to go out there and make sure he hadn't just beat the shit out of the one person left on this earth that he loved for nothing.

He kicked the door open and stepped out, swinging Lucille up so she rested against his shoulder. It seemed nothing had changed since he left. Rick's group was still on their knees looking as frightened as ever and his group still stood around them, looking un entertained. All eyes were on him the minute he opened the door and Negan stepped out with a grin.

"I miss anything?" He teased, approaching the line up.

"No...they've been just as docile as ever." Simon informed him. "And no one touched a hair on any of their little heads."

"Fan-fucking-tastic! Well, you all should be really fucking pleased to know that thanks to Rick, none of you will be meeting Lucille firsthand here tonight."

His words seemed to lighten the mood amongst the lineup but there was still an air of fear and panic lingering. If he had to guess why, he would say it was because Rick was still missing and his face was smeared with blood that obviously wasn't his. His fellow Saviors didn't looked that happy with his words but they could fucking deal with it.

"Please..." A soft voice pleaded, bringing Negan out of his thoughts.

He turned to the dark skinned woman that Dwight had held captive all day, along with the asian and the dirty ass redneck. She was shaking slightly but still held her head up and even managed to throw him a soft glare.

"W..where is he?" She asked.

A ravenous smile spread across his face and he approached her slowly. He reached out with Lucille; gently tilting her head up with the tip of the bat. "Now, now beautiful...I don't think that's any of your goddamn fucking business!"

The harshness in his tone made her jump and he stepped away from her. Although he was angry he didn't want to take it out on any of them. Rick wouldn't forgive him if he did that and he had caused the man enough pain already.

"I'm just fucking with ya! None of you need to worry about Rick, he's fucking fine...sort of. Let's just say he's still breathing." He looked to the dark skinned woman, eyes glinting dangerously. "If I were you lovely...I'd just be fucking grateful that none of you shit stains are dead. Take your rusty ass RV back to your home and make sure you get your asses back there safely because I'll be at your gates tomorrow to check on you first thing in the morning!"

He gave her a sickeningly sweet smile, prompting a shiver from her. Their gaze held for a moment before he clapped loudly and looked around at all of his subordinates. "Alright boys it's fucking late as shit! Let's get the fuck out of here."

Negan tried almost desperately not to look at Rick's group as they scrambled to get to the RV. He simply walked over to the truck that he had come in, not surprised to see his favorite bodyguard Arat sitting in the driver's seat. She gave him a nod in acknowledgement before pulling the passenger door open for him. He silently climbed in next to her and shut the door.

Another moment of silence passed between them and she raised a brow. "Fuck's wrong with you?" She asked quietly.

He sighed in response and shook his head, reaching up and pinching the bridge of his nose. "It's been a long ass fucking night Arat. I'll tell you all about it tomorrow. Just...just get us home."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *whispers* I headcanon that Negan found Arat not long after the apocalypse and now they're both fiercely protective of each other. I love them as a BROTP so much fite me.
> 
> Also thank you so much for all the love and support for this fic! It really makes me happy and it makes writing this a lot more fun and worthwhile! 
> 
> You guys are great! Hope you enjoyed this chapter :D


	5. Chapter 5

"No."

Rick immediately halted his movements and turned to look over his shoulder. Negan was lying beside him as always but he wasn't asleep. At least not anymore much to his dismay.

"I was just going to go get something to drink--"

"I can get you something to drink." Negan insisted, sitting up with a soft yawn. When he noticed his boyfriend made no move to return to his spot on the bed, he reached down and gave it a soft pat. "Come on, lay back down."

A pout tugged at Rick's bottom lip and he sighed, sounding more determined than ever. "No, I can do it."

"You're supposed to be resting."

"I'm pretty sure confining me to my bed isn't what the doctor had in mind. I'm not helpless Negan. I can do things on my own."

"I just don't think you should stress yourself out."

Rick crossed his arms, the pout on his lips turning into a full fledged frown. "How the hell is getting up to get a drink stressing myself out? The kitchen isn't that far away and it's my ribs that are damaged not my legs."

"Look me right in my fucking eyes and tell me that sitting up didn't hurt you just now." Negan retorted, his tone making it clear that he was in no mood to debate.

A moment of silence passed and the two simply glared at each other, having a standoff with just their eyes. Finally, with an annoyed huff, Rick caved and begrudgingly returned to bed and carefully curled onto his side. _"Fine."_

He felt the bed shift and creak as Negan moved to get out of bed. His eyes stayed trained on the wall in front of him as he listened to the other move around. Suddenly the bed dipped again but it was more than obvious that Negan hadn't even left the room yet. Just as Rick was about to turn and ask what the other was doing, he felt a familiar pair of lips on the skin of his neck. He jumped slightly, his cheeks burning red and turned to see his boyfriend staring at him with a fond gaze. The anger in his veins seemed to ebb away and he reached up to cup the other's cheek. A small smile even tugged at his lips when Negan turned and pressed a kiss to his palm.

"I don't fucking think you're weak and helpless you know."

Rick nodded. "I know...I just hate not being able to do things for myself. It's the worst feeling in the world. I don't ever want anyone to have to look after me this way." 

"I know but you got hurt Rick. There's no shame in it. People get hurt sometimes and honestly we're all just fucking glad you're still alive. That car crash could have easily fucking killed you but it didn't. Just bruised you up and it's our job to make sure you fucking get better. That's what the people who love you are supposed to fucking do."

A soft nod was all Rick gave in response. He turned away from his boyfriend but smiled when he held onto his hand and kissed his fingertips. "I fucking love you." He murmured before releasing him and making his way to the door.

"...I fucking love you too." Rick called, his cheeks burning red and a small smile tugging at his lips.

.......................

Rick nearly jumped when a hand lightly smacked against his cheek. His eyes flew open but he was immediately calmed by the sight that greeted him. Judith laid right next to him, her big blue eyes focused on him. He smiled at her and leaned over to press a kiss to her nose before sitting up.

With a light groan he pulled her into his lap and kissed her forehead. "Well, good morning sweetheart." He mused, chuckling when she ran her tiny hands over his face. "What are you doing in here? Hm?"

"I thought waking up to her would be a nice little surprise for you."

The ex sheriff turned and smiled at the sight of Michonne. She was wearing her blue morning robe and had her matching towel thrown across her shoulder. Her hair was still wet from her shower and her ugly blue bunny slippers hugged her feet.

"It was...it is. Thank you."

She shrugged it off, walking into the room and sitting down on the bed. Both of them chuckled as Judith reached for her dreads and fumbled with one she managed to catch. Rick pressed a kiss to his daughter's cheek while Michonne lightly played with her curly blonde hair.

Despite the adorable child in the room, there was still an air of tension looming over them. Judith seemed to sense it too; frowning up at both of the adults playing with her. Rick gave her another kiss for reassurance but it didn't seem to work. He knew that they couldn't just ignore what happened the previous night but it didn't make him eager to talk about it either.

"How long was I out?" He finally asked, hesitantly looking over at Michonne.

"All night. The Saviors left not long after Negan left the RV. We were so scared that he killed you. We heard the scuffle between the two of you and when he came out smeared with your blood I...w..we..."

Her voice broke and she allowed herself to trail off. Rick quickly gripped her hand and gave it a light squeeze. He felt a cold ache throbbing in his bones as he watched the samurai quickly try and collect herself. This was his fault...and he knew it but better him than her or any other of their friends. He took one for the team and nothing would make him regret that. Still, seeing his best friend break like that was like a punch to the gut. It hurt like hell.

"Hey, I'm still with you. I'm good." He whispered, giving her hand another squeeze.

Michonne nodded, looking back up at him. "I know...I know. I was just so afraid that we'd walk into that RV and see you gone forever. I don't even know what I would have done if we had lost you Rick. I don't even think I'd be able to--"

"You didn't lose me." He quickly replied, knowing that she would cry if she kept dwelling on the possibility of him dying. That was the last thing he wanted. "I'm right here with you."

Her smile returned and she squeezed his hand in return. "Yeah...yeah."

"How are all the others?" He asked, gently bouncing Judith in his arms.

"They're all okay. Daryl was the only one with any injuries. He was shot by one of those Saviors when they captured us. We got him patched up as soon as we got back. Luckily it was just a through and through. He'll be fine."

Rick gave a nod, greatly relieved at that news. "Good. Maggie?"

"She's not here. Neither are Glenn, Sasha and Abraham. We rushed to the Hilltop once the Saviors were gone. They all agreed to stay behind to make sure she was okay. We're not expecting them to come back for a couple days."

Another nod. "Carl?"

"In his room." Michonne glanced over at the door. "He's still asleep. I didn't want to wake him up. He was pretty shaken up after last night. He stayed by your side the entire time while we patched you up."

Of course. He expected nothing less from his son. Rick knew that Carl was probably furious and frustrated at the whole situation. If anything he was probably feeling anger towards himself. Felt like if he had just done something then he wouldn't have been injured but there was nothing that could have been done. He'd be sure to hug his son close and tell him that as soon as he woke up.

Rick shifted his attention to his daughter, who was fiddling with his beard which was growing longer by the day. His smile quickly returned and he watched her with loving eyes. Just as Rick felt himself beginning to relax, Michonne cleared her throat nervously. He looked up at her with a confused gaze and frowned at the anxious look she was sending his way.

"What's wrong?" He asked when she wouldn't speak.

"Negan said that he'd be coming back...today."

A spark of excitement ignited in the ex sheriff's chest and he sucked in a breath. He needed to see Negan again. To hold him and tell him that last nights events were unavoidable and he wasn't to blame. He needed to kiss him and reassure him that he was alright and--!

"Rick!"

The man jumped out of his thoughts and looked to Michonne. Her lips were drawn in a tight line as she stared at him, no doubt wondering what he was thinking.

"I..I uh...yeah?"

She crossed her arms and gave him the infamous interrogation head tilt. "I asked you where you knew Negan from."

Blue eyes grew wide. "I..I um...wha--!"

"Don't play dumb. We were all there. Everyone heard you call out for Negan, even the Saviors surrounding us. He said that we had you to thank for one of us not being killed by his baseball bat." She explained, her eyes darkened with curiosity. "So...I'm just curious as to where you've met this crazy man before and why did he not kill you or us last night."

"He didn't kill anyone because he beat the shit out of me." He stated, trying to play it cool. There was no telling how she would react to his news of him being romantically involved with Negan. Would she freak out? Be disgusted? Hate him?

Unfortunately for him, she saw right through it. "That's not all there is to the story Rick and you and I both know it. You called out to him, everyone heard it." She repeated. "So...how did you two know each other?"

"I...I knew him before all of this happened. Before the dead were walking around eating what was left of humanity." He replied, not meeting her gaze.

She seemed to sense something was amiss with him but didn't address it. "Were you two enemies turned friends or something?"

Rick cracked a fond smile as a thousand memories flooded his system. He lightly tickled Judith when she tugged at his beard, relishing her delighted squeals. "Yeah. Yeah, we were something like that."

"So...you two were close then?"

A soft sigh escaped him and he looked her in the eyes. He fought with himself for a moment, struggling with the thought of just telling her the truth or keeping it as vague as possible. He didn't necessarily want to admit the truth to her but not telling her wouldn't turn out that well either. She'd put two and two together eventually as she always did and the fact that he didn't trust her enough to tell her would definitely cause her some pain.

 _Just tell her the truth._ He told himself internally. _She's your **best friend** for god's sake...she isn't going to judge you or hate you for it. She has no reason to. You trust her with any and everything, including your life and the lives of your children._

"Michonne..." He breathed out, breaking their gaze. "W..we were..he was my...first love. We were childhood friends and when we were teenagers it blossomed into something more. The two of us were happy for a couple of years but we had to break up when my parents decided we were going to move to Georgia. He and I shared a couple more months together before we separated and I haven't seen him since...at least not until last night."

The words left him like a jumbled ramble. Quick and nearly unintelligible. His heartbeat was accelerated and it felt like the world was spinning around the two of them. Nothing but silence filled the room when he finally found the sense to shut his mouth. He kept his eyes trained on the little bundle of joy in his arms as he let her take in all the sudden information, mostly because he didn't have the courage to meet the woman's dark gaze just yet.

A few moments of silence stretched out before Michonne finally spoke again. Gently, she reached out and let her fingers ghost across his cheek. Slowly, he looked up at her and found nothing but warmth in her onyx eyes but something else too. Something that almost resembled grief and a little bit of... _pity?_

"So, this guy...you loved him huh?"

He nodded softly. "I did...I do. _God_ , seeing him again felt like _fireworks_ Michonne. He hasn't changed a bit since we were kids. He's still the same old loud mouthed and obnoxious man with the world's worst habit of using foul language." He confessed. "He's the exact same guy I fell for all those years ago and I think he feels the same way too."

"That why he beat the shit out of you?"

Rick nearly jumped at the sudden harshness and ice in her tone. "That was my idea. It was either that or he went out there and killed one of you. I couldn't let that happen."

His answer seemed to appease her and she nodded lightly. "Alright, just don't--"

Her warning was cut off as the door was shoved open. Both looked up as Olivia rushed inside, green eyes wide with fear. She was shaking like she'd just been dipped in an ice cold river and her gaze was trained on Rick. Her mouth opened but no words would come out. It was like she was petrified in fear.

"Olivia?" Michonne called, snapping the woman out of her terrified trance. "What's wrong?"

The woman gulped but seemed to find her words. "A..a strange group approached the gates and said they had an appointment with R..Rick. We tried to keep them out b..but there were do many of them and--"

"Rick!" A voice all too familiar exclaimed behind her. "Hope you didn't forget about our little rendezvous! I've hardly been able to contain all my fucking excitement!"

Olivia was shoved aside, and Negan stepped inside with a grin. One that didn't last long. His eyes trailed from Rick to Michonne and his grin slowly faded into a grim line. A dark emotion easily identified as jealously quickly flooded his hazel eyes and he made no attempt to even try and cover it up.

"well, well, well...now who is this pretty little lady?"

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dun dun DUUUUUUUUN! 
> 
> Not good. Not good at all...
> 
> (Thanks for reading guys!!!!)


	6. Chapter 6

A harsh scoff left Negan as he leaned on the side of his car, watching as Rick chatted with some girl from his astronomy class. His boyfriend looked so good it made his chest ache but the sight of the flirty miss priss with him completely ruined the image for him.

The familiar feeling of jealousy throbbed throughout his entire core and he turned away from them. He had no reason to feel the way he did and he knew that. Rick was his. They fucking loved each other. Neither one of them had ever doubted that fact but seeing some girl all over him still made Negan go crazy with an envious rage.

How **dare** she _touch_ him! How **dare** she _flirt_ with him, giggle at every goddamn sentence he spoke and bat those stupid fucking long ass lashes at him! How **dare** she even **_BREATHE HIS MOTHERFUCKING AIR!_ ** Did she not know that Rick was _fucking **taken!?**_ By **HIM.**

Finally, after an eternity of watching them talk, Rick said his goodbyes and jogged over to meet him with a smile that could light up the whole goddamn world. Negan returned that smile and instinctively caught him when he threw himself at him. He lifted him up ease, not surprised when he felt Rick wrap his legs around his waist. After stealing a quick kiss, he brushed a few of his wild chocolate brown curls out of his face.

"Ready?" Rick asked, wrapping his arms around his neck and kissing his forehead.

"Hell fucking yeah."

Before he set him down, Negan lunged forward and captured his boyfriend's lips in a blazing kiss. Tongue and all. Rick gasped in surprise but didn't make any move to fight him off. His gasp melted into a satisfied moan and he ran his fingers through Negan's hair. He growled in pleasure and opened one eye, looking over to find Rick's lady friend watching with wide eyes filled to the brim with pure shock. Beyond satisfied with her stunned reaction, Negan couldn't help but grin into the kiss before turning his attention back to his boyfriend and ravaging him with his tongue.

When they were finally bereft of any air they pulled apart and Rick chuckled softly. He reached up and brushed a few strands of black hair out of his boyfriend's eyes. There was a look so full of love in his sky blue orbs it made Negan's knees weak.

"What was that all about?"

Though he was still mesmerised by the sheer beauty of the boy in his arms, Negan managed to play it off. He merely grinned and gripped his ass in both hands, hoisting him up furthering and staring into his gorgeous blue eyes. "Ah...nothing. Just fucking happy to see to see you is all."

With a roll of the eyes Rick pressed their foreheads together. "Hm, well put me down so we can go. I'm starving and I have a crap ton of homework to do."

"Yeah, yeah, fucking yeah."

Gently, he placed the other back on the ground. He turned and was glad to see that his boyfriend's little lady friend was long gone.

Fucking good. He thought to himself, leading Rick to the passenger's side of his car and opening the door for him. A smile tugged at his lips as he watched him crawl inside before leaning over and pressing his lips to the other's cheek before closing the door after him. Quickly, he rounded the car and climbed in himself, putting the key in the ignition and starting the car.

"You were jealous...weren't you?" Rick teased softly over the rev of the engine.

Negan let out a soft breath but gave a defeated nod. "Yeah maybe I fucking was so fucking what?"

Rick reached over and gripped his hand but Negan could tell he was trying not to laugh. "Why?" He asked, his voice full of curiosity along with a hint of amusement. "Why the hell would you ever be jealous of Amy? She's not even my type."

"Yeah, well maybe you should fucking tell her that."

"Or maybe you should stop being so possessive and jealous."

"I can't fucking help it!" Negan exclaimed, cursing roughly when his voice nearly broke. "Fuck Rick! The world is filled with a shit ton of people a hell of a fucking lot better than me and your gorgeous ass could have anyone you fucking wanted! I just don't want anyone to come along and take you away from me."

A moment of silence passed between them before a Rick reached out, gripped his face in his hands and slammed their lips together. Negan savored the kiss and wrapped an arm around the other's middle. He felt Rick smile against him and he returned the smile until their kiss was broken apart by their grins.

"You...are such an _idiot._ " Rick breathed out, laughing gently as he thumbed Negan's cheeks. "I don't want anyone else. Haven't I made that clear yet? Dammit Negan, there is no one else in the world for me. You are the only one for me. No one else can make me laugh so hard I cry or make me feel as happy as you. I would never ever want anyone else. For me, there is only _you_. I love you and **no one** but **_you."_**

Negan sighed but his grin remained and he pressed their foreheads together. He looked into the blue orbs he loved so much and felt a pang of unconditional love hit him. His eyes quickly squeezed shut as the familiar sting of tears pricked at his eyes.

"God fucking dammit...I fucking love the shit out of you Rick Grimes."

Rick threw his arms around his neck and squeezed him. "And I love you too."

..................

"Well, well, well...now who is this pretty little lady?"

Negan's eyes stayed trained on Rick. He saw shock, happiness and fear shining in those lovely bright blue eyes and unfortunately the last of the three was the most prominent there. He knew that Rick could see right through him. That had always been his strong suit when it came to there relationship. He was never good at hiding his emotions from Rick.

He wanted to destroy every fucking thing in his path at the sight in front of him. Rick and that same dark skinned woman from last night. Casually just laying, or sitting rather, in bed. Rick was sitting up in bed still underneath all the blankets and she sat on the edge of the bed wearing nothing but a fucking bathrobe. Like this was a casual fucking thing they did every morning. However; before he even got the chance to explode, something else managed to catch his attention.

A beautiful little girl...

She was absolutely adorable and couldn't be any older than a year and a few months. Negan's heart throbbed in his chest as he looked over her. He'd never seen such a perfect little girl in his entire life; she looked like an angel. Chubby cheeks, bouncy blond curls and the biggest dark blue eyes he had ever seen. She was perfect.

A grin quickly spread across his face and he approached the bed; kneeling down at Rick's side. He could practically feel the shock on their faces as he completely ignored the woman all of his rage was directed at. Paying no attention to all the surprise and confusion being thrown at him, he gently prodded at the girl's face.

"Now just who is this pretty little princess?" He cooed, laughing when Judith looked at him with wide and curious eyes. "I haven't seen a baby since before all this crazy shit went down."

"Hey!" Rick snapped quietly, glaring at him. "Don't cuss in front of her."

Negan gave him a nod though his eyes never left the little girl. "Noted. What's this angel's name?"

"Judith."

The savior's head snapped back to the dark skinned woman, his eyes wide at the sound of her voice. She stared back at him with blank brown eyes and he quickly lowered his own. He'd almost forgotten that she was there with them. As he looked at her now...all of his sudden envy and anger rushed back and coursed through his veins. Hazel eyes lowered and he opened his mouth to speak but Rick beat him to the punch.

 _"Michonne!"_ He exclaimed, probably a little louder than he meant to. "Can you um...can you give us a minute alone please?"

She sat there silently for a moment; a slight frown forming on her face. The two of them shared a gaze and a silent understanding seemed to pass through them. Her dark eyes then fixed themselves on Negan, shooting him a warning look before she disappeared out the door.

The atmosphere in the room seemed to settle down as soon as she was gone and Negan's smile slowly returned. He rose to his feet and gently pulled Judith out of Rick's arms and into his. She made a soft noise that sounded a lot like delight and he held her close, rocking her gently. He chuckled when she yawned.

"Aww, did these meanies drag you out of bed?"

She whined softly, her tiny hands coming up to knuckle at her eyes. The leather clad man sucked in a breath and watched her with an overly fond gaze. His heart was a drum pounding in his chest. He smiled when she blinked up at him before slumping against him and resting her head on his shoulder with a long and tired yawn.

"I'll take that as a yes." He mumbled, placing his head on top of hers gently and nuzzling her.

"You handled that... _a lot_ differently than I expected." Rick replied and Negan could feel the stunned blue gaze piercing him.

He kept his gaze trained on Judith as he made random silly faces at her, which she gurgled happily at. "Well, what did you think I was going to do? Blow the roof off the place?"

"Honestly? Yeah...but I'm glad you didn't. Michonne and I...we aren't together. She's my right hand. My best friend. I'm hoping you two won't go head to head any time soon or ever."

"I have no reason to go at it with her...not anymore anyway."

"Yeah, well she's kinda got a bone to pick with you."

Negan raised a brow, looking up at Rick. "The hell did I do?"

Rick motioned to his face which was battered and bruised. For the first time, Negan was forced to acknowledge his work from the previous night. Patches of dark purples and blues decorated the other's face and there were probably more hidden underneath his clothes. His right eye was a little swollen and his lip was split in two places. A surge of guilt flooded Negan's system and he approached the bed with a heavy sorrow filled heart.

"Dammit... _fuck_ I'm sorry Rick, I--"

"Stop." The other interrupted almost immediately. "It's not your fault. You had to do it, we established this already."

Negan shook his head lightly, looking away. "Still...I'm sorry."

"I know." A moment of silence passed between them before Rick spoke again, his voice light and playful. "So, you like kids?"

The savior looked up at a his long lost love and sure enough found him staring up at him with wide eyes. An amused chuckle left him and he shook his head. "No, I don't _like_ kids. I **_love_** kids. Always have. Didn't I ever tell you that?"

"I don't remember you telling me anything like that."

"You sure? I think I would have mentioned it somewhere down the road. I always wanted kids of my own some day...never happened for me but my job kind of made up for that."

"Your job?"

"Yeah...I was a school coach if you can believe it."

Rick chuckled softly and shook his head. "I can't actually. All I can see is you running around shouting profanity at some poor little innocent kids."

A shit eating grin immediately stretched across Negan's face. "It was something like that."

As Judith began to wiggle in his grasp, Negan walked over to the bed and sat down next to Rick. The young girl seemed to relax soon after he stilled. Both men watched as her became heavier and tiny yawns left her. She was slowly but surely falling asleep and Negan felt his heart melt at just the sight.

"Is she yours?"

His sudden question was met with nothing but silence and he looked up, a frown tugging at his lips. Why the sudden silent treatment? Surely, Rick wouldn't get upset with him just for asking a question. Right? He looked up and found the other man staring at the bedsheets, a faraway gaze lurking in his eyes.

"Rick?"

"It's a long story, a very long and complicated story. She's my daughter in every single way..." His voice trailed off and they sat in silence once more as Negan waited for him to continue. "I don't know if she's truly mine by blood but...she's still mine all the same."

Negan nodded but didn't question any further. It was obvious that that was a sensitive topic. There was no need to pry. Rick would talk about it whenever he was ready. Gently, the savior lifted Judith up so her head was resting on his shoulder. He rocked her slowly until her breathing was slow and steady, hinting that she had fallen asleep.

"Well, she is absolutely perfect." He murmured, pulling back to see if the young girl was sleeping.

"Thank you...and she's not asleep." Rick replied with a smile.

As if to back up her father's words, Judith pulled her head back to look up at him. Her big blue eyes stared up at him and her lips curled in a smile as she ran her tiny fingers through his beard. Negan laughed softly at her and gently nibbled at her fingertips.

"She likes you."

"Of course she does. Kids always love me. Just like the ladies." Negan boasted, shooting a wink at Rick.

"You're just talking outta your ass." The other stated with a roll of the eyes.

"I thought you said no cussing in front of her." Negan teased.

Rich reached out and thumbed his daughter's cheek, smiling when she grabbed his hand. "I'm her father so it's okay if I say it."

"Yeah, I don't think that's how it works."

"Well, no one asked you."

Hazel eyes rolled and Negan nudged him lightly with his elbow. "Smartass. Got any other rugrats I should know about besides this one and the cyclops I saw last night?"

Rick looked up with shocked eyes. "How'd you know Carl was--"

"Gee, I don't know Rick; he only looks just like you. Honestly you'd have to be blind to not see that resemblance."

"Fair enough...but you're definitely going to have to work to earn his forgiveness too. He's not going to forgive this easily, no matter how much I insist that it wasn't your fault. If there's one thing you need to know about Carl, it's that he's hard headed and stubborn."

Hazel eyes rolled. "Wonder where he got that from..."

Rick playfully punched Negan's shoulder. "Shut up."

Negan leaned over and pecked him on the lips. "Relax, I'm a very persistent men. I'm sure your people will come around eventually..."

"Hopefully." Rick murmured, his tone growing doubtful and anxious.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is a little late! Thank you so much for the continued support! It really makes me happy to see you guys enjoying the story so much!!!!!!!!


	7. Chapter 7

"Holy...holy shit."

Rick managed to gasp out the words after an eternity of stunned silence. He already knew Negan was grinning down at him from his spot behind him. And this time he couldn't even blame him. The sight laying before him was well worth boasting over.

A nice little quaint picnic. The whole red and white checkered blanket with the basket and everything. Everything was perfectly set up, even the location. A nice little clearing in between two tall trees with the comforting sound of the rushing river behind them to put the icing on the cake. Comfortable looking red cushions surrounded the blanket in a half circle. Tiny white candles flickered in the gentle breeze while pink and red roses were littered across the ground; leading up to the beautiful scene.

"How...in the hell..."

"I had some help." Negan replied with a shrug, stepping ahead of him and holding his hand out.

Rick happily accepted and allowed himself to be led over to his surprise. "From who?"

"Don't fucking worry about it." Negan mused with a smile, lightly patting his shoulders in attempt to get him to sit down. "Just enjoy the surprise, this shit wasn't exactly easy to pull off you know. You should have seen this spot before we worked on it."

Blue eyes widened but Rick obliged him and sat down. A smile immediately stretched across his face and he sighed in satisfaction. Just as he suspected, the cushions were comfortable. He gently tugged the other down, leaning against as soon as he found himself settled in. "Just how long were you planning to do this?"

Another shrug. "Couple weeks. I thought it'd be a nice change of pace for us. We haven't really gone on a date since...you know."

Rick didn't need to be a genius to know he was talking about the big moving announcement. Things had been...up and down since he told Negan his family was leaving. They were happy some days and downright miserable for others. One minute they'd be a perfectly. normal happy teenage couple: smiling, laughing and having crazy good sex but then it would all go downhill. Laughing turned into crying and sex turned into hugging each other so tight it felt like they were the only thing anchoring each other to the world. This was just what they needed at the moment. Negan was absolutely right about their whole dating thing. It had been forever since they went out on a date instead of holing up in a room. They still hung out every day after school of course but nothing other than staying indoors.

Rick looked up at Negan, his crystal blue eyes bright and sparkling with happiness. He reached up and ran his fingers over the other's face. "Hm...well, I definitely appreciate this. I think it's exactly what we need right now."

Grinning widely, Negan leaned down and closed the distance between their lips. The kiss was light and small, just a touch of the lips but it overflowed with love. Both were beaming when they pulled away but Negan, unable to resist, pressed one more kiss to his boyfriend's lips.

"Well, I'm glad you think so too." He murmured, reaching up to run his fingers through the curly brown locks he loved so much. "Would have been kinda fucked up for me to do all of this shit just for you to blow it off."

Blue eyes rolled. That was a load of bullshit. He appreciated every thing Negan did for him, from the tiny little kisses he loved giving him to the big surprises like this that he put together for him.

"Please...like I would ever do that to you."

Rick chuckled when Negan dove in and attacked his neck with nibbles and kisses. He let out a soft moan of approval, gasping when he was hoisted against the other's chest. He marveled at how big and...chiseled Negan was just as he always did whenever he took in Negan's stature. The guy was only seventeen but fuck if he didn't at least look twenty five.

Rick let his eyes slip shut and listened to the soothing sound of rushing water mixed with the other's beating heart. Eventually the sound of the river faded leaving only Negan's heartbeat. It was nice...and strong. He was definitely healthy that much was certain but there was something else...something _familiar._ It was like he had heard the sound before, which he had, this wasn't the first time he listened to his boyfriend's heartbeat. But for a reason he couldn't explain it felt so much more _intimate_ this time.

"Hey, you listenin to me down there?" Negan teased, lightly tugging on his hair. "Or are my nipples so amazing you can't help but stare at them?"

Rick pushed himself up off of the other's chest to sit up so he could playfully glare at him. "Shut up."

Negan grinned and kissed his forehead. "Fucking seriously though Grimes, why you spacing out on me?"

He shook his head gently. "Nothing, it's stupid. I was just listening to your heartbeat and..."

And then it hit him. Just like that. It was like getting hit in the face with a wrecking ball. The reason why Negan's heartbeat sounded so similar to him. Why he was so convinced that he had heard it before. It was because it was his heartbeat. Their hearts beat at the same tempo. They matched up perfectly! Their hearts were in perfect fucking sync with each other!

"Fuck me..."

"Well, that was definitely the apart of the plan for tonight Ricky but I had hoped to at least eat dinner first." Negan teased, pulling him closer to press a kiss to his temple. "But if you insis--"

Rick slapped a hand over his mouth; looking up at him with a winded look in his eyes like he'd just been kicked in the gut. "Our hearts are in sync." He stated softly, his words barely above a whisper.

Negan ripped his hand away, a brow raised on his face. "Gonna have to speak up Rick."

"Our hearts. _Are. In. **Sync."**_

"What?"

"Our heartbeats are the same." Rick stated again. He took Negan's hand in his and put it over his heart, hoping he could feel it under the fabric of his shirt.

Negan made a skeptical face for a moment but as he searched for Rick's pulse, it slowly faded and was replaced with disbelief. His hazel eyes grew wide and two fingers flew up to rest against his neck. After a moment of silence his jaw dropped and he turned to Rick.

"Holy fucking shit what the fuck?!" He exclaimed in what sounded like elation. "How in the fucking fuck have we never fucking noticed this shit before?!"

Rick shrugged with a laugh. "I don't know but--"  
  
"Do you think they stay matched like that?! What if they accelerate?! Do you think they still fucking stay in sync or--"

"Negan, I don't know."

"Well we gotta fucking see! Cmon let's fuck!"

Blue eyes shot open and Rick frowned in shock. "What?!" He nearly shouted, almost shoving the other away. "Negan, no I--"

"You were the one that said fuck me earlier!" Negan replied, looking a little hurt at the sudden protest. "Now, I offer to actually fuck you and suddenly you don't want to? My dick not fucking good enough for you anymore?"

"Negan." Rick breathed out, resisting the urge to laugh. He leaned back against the cushions and pulled the other on top of him, settling his head right over his heart. "That's not what I meant and you know it. There's nothing wrong with your dick, your dick is amazing. I just...I don't know, I want to savor this for a minute."

"Savor what?" The other asked, pushing up to look at him.

"Just...this. This little moment right here." Rick gently murmured, brushing his fingers over Negan's face. "Cmon. Let's just lay down with me for a minute. We can test it out and fuck later, I promise."

"You bet your sweet ass we're gonna fuck later. I did all this shit for you the least you could you do is fucking put out for me and ride my--"

Rick let out an irritated sigh. "Negan--"

"I'm fucking with you!" The other exclaimed with a loud laugh.

........................

"She is so goddamn beautiful Rick."

The Alexandrian looked up at Negan with a smile. He simply refused to let Judith out of his grasp, holding her and rocking her with such love and care. Rick even caught him kissing her hair a few times. The man was completely smitten and Judith definitely didn't mind him either. She had laughed and gurgled happily at him, reaching for him and lightly grabbing at his beard. Now, even though she was fast asleep in his arms, he still swayed her back and forth gently.

"Thank you...you've only said that about a million times."

"Well, it's the fucking truth. She is an absolute treasure. You must be spoiling this little angel rotten and you fucking ought to be too. Lord knows I fucking would."

Rick reached out and lightly thumbed his daughter's cheek. "Well, she's probably going to be out for a while. Come on, I'll let you put her to bed."

The two rose from the bed and stepped out into the hallway. Rick smiled as he watched Negan gently rock his daughter when she stirred in her sleep. Once she was calm again he led the savior down to Judith's hidden room. He pulled the door open and ushered the taller man inside. Negan carried the baby girl over to the crib and gently laid her down inside. Rick watched with a smile as Judith wiggled around in her sleep, trying to get comfortable in her sudden new position. He turned to Negan, who looked mournful of the sudden bereftness in his arms but also love struck by the sight before him.

"Come on daddy dearest, let's let her sleep." Rick whispered, tugging Negan out the door and closing it as quietly as he could manage.

"You are one goddamn lucky man Grimes." The savior breathed out, staring at the door with a look so full of longing. "She is just absolutely perfect."

"Well, I--"

_"Dad?!"_

Both men turned to see Carl standing in front of them. He had clearly just gotten out of bed. His baggy dark blue pajamas still flung to him and his hair was matted and messy. His eyepatch was gone but his long bangs covered up his missing eye. The one intact however was full of rage and focused right on Negan. The teen lunged forward in an attempt to attack the leather clad man but Rick quickly intercepted though his bruised body screamed in protest.

"Carl no!" He nearly cried, his voice quiet and winded as he tried to hide the pain.

"What the hell is he doing here?!" The teen demanded, his furious gaze still set on Negan. "How could you show him Judith?!"

"Carl please just calm down." Rick urged, pulling his son into his arms and turning him away from the other man. He held him firmly in his arms, preventing him from escaping even as he struggled to escape. "It's alright, everything is alright."

He turned to Negan with an apologetic look but it seemed that wasn't necessary. The leather clad man was smirking in complete amusement, his eyes trained right on Carl.

Rick bit back a groan when his son shoved him away in complete disbelief, his bruised chest throbbing and aching in pain. Swallowing down the pain, he stood tall and faced his son. It pained him to see that Carl's one blue eye was wide with what looked to be betrayal.

"How can you even say that?!" He snarled. "This is the same asshole that beat you down like a fucking dog last night!"

"Hey!" Rick hissed, throwing him a stern look. "Watch your mouth. Look, it's...it's complicated Carl. I know you're angry about last night but what happened needed to happen."

"What are you talking about!?"

Negan stepped forward, both hands raised in surrender. "Look kid--"

Carl lunged himself at the savior but was once again intercepted by his father. They collided roughly and this time Rick couldn't hide the pain. As he pulled his son back, he dropped to his knees and hugged his chest with a soft hiss. It felt like his entire chest was burning and throbbing as wave after wave of agony washed over him.

"Dad!" Carl shouted, absolutely horrified. He fell to his knees beside his father and pulled him into his arms as gently as he could manage.

"Fuck!" Negan exclaimed, rushing over to him only to be shoved back by Carl.

"Get the fuck away from him!"

"C..Carl." Rick choked out, looking up at his son with pleading eyes. "Don't. He's not our enemy."

"But last night!"

"If he hadn't done what he did...the price for us to pay would have been much greater. Someone would have died Carl, I couldn't let that happen. I know you're upset but you have to understand that he only did what he did because I asked him to."

His words seemed to calm his son's fury. His gaze slowly softened and he looked down at his father. "But...but..."

Rick forced himself to sit up, choking down a groan as his body ached in protest. "It's alright Carl." He murmured, taking his hand and giving it a light squeeze. "Everyone is still alive. We're all still here. That's what matters the most...right?"

The teen looked away but nodded with a sigh. "Right."

A smile tugged at Rick's lips and he gave a nod in return, grateful that he managed to talk some sense into his son. Carl wasn't always the best of listeners when he was upset and where he got that from wasn't a mystery at all.

"Well, I'm glad that fucking cyclops over here has the capacity to be reasonable." Negan chimed with a grin. "Thought I was gonna have to open up a fucking can of whoop ass on your kid Rick."

All reason and understanding immediately drained from Carl's face and he glared daggers at the man. Just as he was about to open his mouth and tell the man off, Rick chimed in.

"Carl, could you give us a minute alone." He ordered lightly, nearly pleading when his son flashed him a look of outright defiance. "Please."

Scoffing, the teen rose to his feet and stormed off down the hall. He threw open his bedroom door and slammed it shut, thankfully it wasn't hard enough to wake his sleeping baby sister.

A sigh of relief left Rick and he smiled when Negan offered him his hand. He immediately took it and groaned as he stood up.

"I'm sorry." He murmured. "About Carl, just give him some time and--"

"Ah, don't even fucking sweat it. I wasn't fucking expecting him to throw out the fucking welcoming wagon or anything. He's a goddamn teenager. His hormones are already flying all over the fucking place. He's probably angry about everything fucking thing life throws at him already. Last thing he needed was some fucking asshole like me marching up and starting some shit like last night."

"But it wasn't--"

"I doubt he really gives a shit Rick. For right now I'm the bad guy in his eyes and I can fucking live with that." Negan stated with a shrug. "He'll get over it eventually."

Rick smiled but it didn't last long. He doubled over in pain and threw an arm around his abdomen. "Goddammit..." He hissed out.

Negan frowned deeply and brought his arm around his shoulders. "Come on, let's get your ass back to bed where it belongs."

.......................

A sigh of relief left Rick as he was returned to his bed. His labored breathing slowly even out and gave a grateful smile to Negan, who took his hand and kissed his knuckles. Although he was smiling, Rick could see a troubling look lingering in his hazel eyes.

"What's wrong?" He asked, his voice soft and a little hoarse.

The man looked away, like he was too ashamed to even meet his eyes and that didn't sit right with Rick. "I hate to fucking do this right now, especially since I see that you're in so much fucking pain but it's now or never."

A cold sweat broke out against Rick's skin. "Do..do what?"

Negan seemed to sense his anxiety and sat next to him on the bed. "Relax, nobody is fucking getting hurt here. At least not...physically."

"What are you saying then?"

"Well...I still have people to please Rick, so I can't just leave yours alone. Not when my people are still angry."

Rick frowned, confusion and a bit of anger crossing his features. "What more could they want?!"

"To put it delicately...half your shit."

Blue eyes widened. "Half our stuff?! Negan, we're low enough on everything as it is! We barely have anything here! Why do you think I made that deal with the Hilltop to take you out!? It was for supplies! If we got rid of you for them then they would help us! We're already running dangerously low, we can't afford to give up anything else!"

Negan raised his hands. "Alright, alright fucking Jesus." He sighed out. "This isn't fucking ideal for me either Rick but like I told you last night, my people want some fucking retribution. There has to be something."

Rick grit his teeth, his cheeks flushing. He looked up in complete defiance. "Negan. If you take half of our supplies from us today then my people will suffer and maybe even die. At least give me some time to go on runs and scavenge some stuff first."

A flash of warning flickered in the savior's eyes and he glared down at him softly. "You're not going on any fucking runs in your shitty ass state and you better not fucking try while my back is turned either."

"Then I'll set up group runs and send my people out there, just give me some time first!"

Negan leaned down and gripped his face in his hands. Just as Rick was about to question him, he slammed their lips together in a bruising but gentle kiss. Rick gasped as Negan's tongue invaded his mouth but welcomed him in his arms. His fingers raked through his soft hair as their tongues collided and battled for dominance.

The savior broke off the kiss to look into his eyes and gently kiss the tip of his nose. "I don't want to fucking do this to you Rick, I really don't but my people--"

"Stop." Rick murmured, looking up into his multicolored orbs. He was surprised to find that they looked a little more green than brown today. "I know better than anyone what it's like to want to please your people. Just...just give us some time first."

Negan nodded but a frown still lingered on his face. "You do know that this shitty arrangement isn't a one time thing...right Rick?"

"I was hoping you wouldn't say that." The Alexandrian admit, turning his gaze to the ground.

The savior leaned forward and pressed a string of kisses along his jaw. "I'm sorry...I know this shit fucking sucks but I'll do my best to go easy on you. Hopefully, after a few weeks my people will ease off."

Rick nodded lightly, meeting his gaze once again. "When will you come back to see us again?" He inquired. "I know you don't plan on staying here tonight."

A familiar grin tugged at the other's lips. "As much as I fucking love this domestic shit you guys have going on here, no I can't stay tonight but I'll be back. Don't you worry that pretty little head of yours baby. Daddy'll be back to take good care of you. I promise."

Rick raised a brow in complete and utter surprise but he'd be lying if he said he didn't like the thought of actually calling the other man that. A light shiver even raced down his spine, sending tiny bolts of electric pleasure throughout his body.

"Daddy?" He repeated, trying to sound teasing and failing.

Negan simply winked, giving him his trademark grin as he reached down and gripped his chin. "Don't act like you don't already love it." He whispered against his lips before giving him one last peck on the lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a little author's note! the flashbacks are not in any kind of order! they're completely random! 
> 
> *whispers* also rick and negan would totally have a little daddy kink going on. leave me alone and let me dream!
> 
> Sorry this update took a little longer to get out but thanks for reading guys!!!! I hope you guys enjoyed :D


	8. Chapter 8

"Absolutely fucking not."

"Michonne--"

"No Rick. _**No.** _ We are not doing this! We're not going to sit here and let them bully us like this!"

"We don't have a choice!"

"The hell we don't! You yourself said that Negan wouldn't hurt you or do anything to hurt so why do we gave to bow down and grovel? Why are we expected to bend over backwards just to please his group!?"

A moment of silence passed as the two leaders glared the other down. Rick thought it would be a wise decision to consult Michonne on Negan's proposal; after all she was his second hand along with Glenn. Now that he saw her reaction on the matter he was beginning to realize that he had been wrong. His best friend didn't whip out her kind and understanding side like she usually did when he was in a crisis. This time the only thing she brought to the table was anger.

"I'm serious Rick! How can you possibly expect any of us to understand this or be completely okay with it!?" She demanded, hands finding her hips as the anger in her dark eyes grew.

"I don't expect anyone to be alright with this. Hell, I'm not even alright with it...but it's something we have to do."

Another moment of tense silence passed between them before Rick broke their glaring competition to look at the ground instead. The samurai let out a huff of anger in response, turning away from him to furiously pace the room.

"This is bullshit and you know it Rick." Michonne stated softly, her choice brimming with an impatient frustration. "And we can't afford to do it either. Our supplies is scarce enough as it is! We can't just give away half of it! People will die!"

"I..I know that."

"Do you? Because the way you're talking right now makes it sound like you're ready and willing to do whatever the hell he wants you to."

She sent him another glare only to find his eyes still attached the ground. Slowly she approached him; stopping directly in front of him and crouching down so their eyes were level. Their was a strange look she couldn't quite place lingering in his blue eyes.

Something was bothering him...

Gently, she placed her hand over his and interlaced their fingers.  
"Rick." Michonne made sure to keep her voice gentle and calm. "Talk to me. What are you-- what are we going to do about this?"

Blue eyes lifted to meet dark brown and the ex sheriff shook his head gently. "I don't know." He murmured, a brokenness filling his voice. "We're in no position to refuse the saviors. They've got numbers on their side Michonne. And firepower. And they're already out for our blood."

"Negan told you--"

"It's not just about what he wants. He's got a whole group to think about and they're already out for our blood." He stated, pulling his hands away to run them through his hair. "We started all of this. We were the ones who murdered a bunch of their people before they even had a chance to come knocking on our door!"

"We only did that to help the Hilltop and get supplies!"

"Wrong thing done for the right reasons is still the wrong thing!" Rick breathed out, head shaking. "And it's not like we can just explain that to Negan and his group either! That'll only incriminate the Hilltop and they'll be punished in a way that I don't even want to imagine! We're stuck in a box here. There's no way out of this unless we give in."

"I don't accept that."

"Michonne--"

"No, Rick! Everything we got was from fighting! All that we have here we got from fighting! We can't just sit by and let them take it all away and leave us with nothing!"

"Then what do we do? Fight? Then we all lose. We'll lose and all of us will die! I'm not saying that this is okay and I certainly don't approve of it but it's our only option! I'm just...I'm trying to keep this from escalating into a huge war that kills all of us!"

The brokenness in his voice didn't escape the samurai and she shook her head. She understood what he was saying, truly she did but she still couldn't bring herself to accept it. It was a bogus bargain that Negan proposed and being the fighter that she was, she wasn't about to just lay down and take it.

"Talk to Negan." The samurai proposed stubbornly. "He'll listen to you because he cares for you. You said it yourself!"

"Nothing I can say will get his group to--"

"How do you know?!" She demanded in frustration, throwing her hands up in the air. "Rick, you're not even willing to try! You've just accepted all of this! I know that you two had some sort of thing before the world went to shit. I know that you're happy to be reunited with him and you're hoping to rekindle whatever you had before, but you're letting that cloud you're judgement. And that...that is a dangerous thing to do."

Rick gave her a shocked look, obviously taken aback by her suggestion. "I'm not letting him cloud my judgement."

"But you are. Why else would you be so willing to just do whatever the hell he tells you to? If this was anyone else you would have found some way to fight against it. But now that it's someone you used to know--"

"I still know him."

"No. You don't." Michonne looked at him with sympathetic but stern eyes. "You don't know him anymore Rick. You two were close when you were teenagers and that was ages ago. Times change. People change. And the way the world is now...that's enough to change anyone. Turn them into people they never thought they were capable of being and you and I know that better than anyone. The man that you're dealing with is the not the guy you fell in love with all those years ago."

Rick pursed him lips. She was right and he knew it but that didn't mean he had to like it. With a soft exhale he turns away from her, looking at his hands which were clasped tightly in his lap. He felt the bed dip a Michonne took a seat next to him and tensed briefly when she wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

"Look...I'm not trying to be the bad guy here."

"I know that. You're not telling me anything I don't need to hear right now." He murmured. "I just...this is not what I wanted to hear."

"I know and I'm sorry."

"Don't be." He insisted, turning to her with a grateful smile. "It's nice to have someone who's not afraid to put me in my place every now and then."

"I'll always be your gal for that." She promised, leaning to press a kiss to his cheek. "And I'll be here to offer support when you need it too."

"That's what I asked you to do tonight."

"You didn't need support from me. You needed a firm little talking to to prevent you from doing something incredibly stupid."

He nodded, a gentle smile tugging at his lips. "Yeah, you're right. So what do we about this?"

Michonne's smile dropped slowly until it disappeared. "You tell him that we're not giving him shit."

Rick gave a bitter chuckle. "Just like that?"

"Maybe not the way I phrased it but you tell him all the same. We'll come to some other conclusion with him but we are not giving him any of our supplies. As big as their group is and as much as they've been raiding, they probably have enough already. We don't. We still have to hunt for food, medicine and ammunition to survive. We can't get by without our stuff."

Michonne gripped his shoulder, getting his attention. Their eyes met and Rick could see in an instant the determination and will to fight in her dark orbs. She was always such a force to be reckoned with. Never slipping up or losing face. Rick could only wish for a strong spirit like that to one day decide take up residence in him.

"I'll...I'll try but Michonne, I don't know how any of this is going to play out."

"That's alright." She let her free hand clasp both of his and gave a gentle squeeze. "Whatever happens next...we can handle it. Just like we always do."

Blue eyes lifted to meet dark brown and he nodded. "I hope you're right."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've gotten SO MANY messages about this story! I told you guys it wasn't being discontinued! Have a little faith in me lol
> 
> That being said I am deeply sorry it took me five months to add another chapter! I am really, really, REALLY sorry about that! I'll try not to let another hiatus come along and delay this story again!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading this story and I hope you enjoyed this chapter! (I know I switched it up this time and sorry for the lack of flashbacks! Next chapter will have one :3)

**Author's Note:**

> I am slowly turning into regan trash and I am so sorry.
> 
> Hope you guys enjoyed this :D 
> 
> Stay tuned for more!!!!!


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